That ball belonged to a ghost

             I have been waiting long before jotting this down here in my blog with neither the illustrious sentence nor the proper words were in order for describing the incident that has put me under some sort of shock. Imagination of humankind often helps them to explore the universe with the utmost levels of surprises and seems to amaze them from an entirety. I have often heard people dream about fantasies, snakes, ghosts and maybe demons at times and seen them either shivering or questioning others regarding such a ghastly dream which can include the most negatives of aspects termed by the society. It did amuse me a bit but never understood the relevance until today when I am sitting on my couch right now, thinking about what I saw last night.

            From the dream, I can recall about me walking down the streets of my native hometown and it seemed like I was out for troll in the evening with some known companion. I came across a family who were playing cricket. A father and her kids were busy in a situation where they were searching for the ball they were playing with. We went along after observing them for a second or two but after covering a bit of a distance I did see a green tennis ball lying on the ground. I did take the ball to the family just to find a red croquet ball in the father's hand and they thanked me for my concern but told me that they have found what they were looking for. I threw the ball back to where it was lying and carried on my path. I had a feeling that someone was picking up the ball which I had thrown and I did turn back to see a typical figure picking up the ball and going back away with a few more of similar sized figures. I don't have words to describe how they looked as people might be interested to know about them but the feeling was sufficient to make me terrorized enough to fear what I saw. It was a dreadful site and I shivered badly just to find myself lying on my bed here at my room and near about 132kms from my hometown. I could feel the terror and couldn't believe what I have seen. I felt myself shivering for a while before regaining consciousness. I have been busy searching all this morning regarding "what ghosts in dreams" depicts in reality but have come up with nothing from the internet and don't actually understand any of it.

            Dreaming about unknown and strange things has been quite common for me and over the years, I have even been to the Caribbean for playing a cricket tournament too with my local friends and hence I consider myself to be one of the most unrealistic dreamers within my acquaintances. But dreaming about something negative has never been there in my lexicon and negative as bad as this has made me realize the urge for people to know the reasons and to be true I find myself under immense fear of knowing why it happened at all but all I can end up with now is thinking that the ball which I picked up, belonged to a ghost.

Rainbow : The life of a woman

            It takes courage to make decisions but to execute them in reality, it takes a hell of a confidence and mental strength. Leading a life with honour yet being born among thorns has a different measure of respect involved for it and here is a woman who has earned it from the society. 

            Life of a man is tough and involves all kinds of risks. He is supposed to be responsible, hardworking, gentle,.................and so on. But what we often don't recognize is the importance of a woman in that life, the  real value of her. The cobwebs of life often can trap us but its the touch of a woman which never allows a  man to get messed in the darkness, yet its also the same touch of a woman which can ruin him. If a man is physically gifted to uplift pressure then its just worthless to say that a woman is born with mental stability, rather it should be concluded that women are a gift of God for men in this pressure cooker kind of world.

            It started 23 years from now for her. The newly married bride had left her father's house on the proposal of her boyfriend then and it was a new beginning. All she had heard was,"Come with me." and her immediate verdict was to step out of the house without even looking back. She knew that the road to happiness was full of darkness but she never stopped after that, and in that struggle, life seems to have given her lot more than what she ever anticipated. She loved him and that love has never changed from either side which even marks as the example of a perfect pair among her relatives.

  

            When she recalls about those old times, she has a typical smile on her face which makes those incidents look more tragic. She had spent sleepless nights because of family problems, problems which belonged to her husband. She wept at night and fought with the odds in the daytime yet never gave up. Neither did she complain nor did she made anybody realize her pain. Her options were wide open and she could have left the battlefield whenever she desired but she continued. She fought and is still fighting now. She could have run back to her parents but she never even thought about it. 

             She could stand everything but could never did stand her husband being under pressure. Neither did she leave him alone when he was affected by any thought nor did she allow it to settle down with time, rather she tried her level best every time to get the ugly thought off him and never stopped until it was completely gone. She often claims that she is lucky to have a husband who supports her and is a cooperative man but truth lies with the fact that the man has been lucky to have her which he even admits with pride. He had also spent horrified days in his workplace being lost in the thoughts about his wife's well being when he was out for work and she was left alone. 

             The odds have weakened and scenarios have altered but she never changed. The girl who didn't even wait for her mother's response before leaving her house is now a mother herself. Responsibilities have been reduced though as the young kid is out of the house for studies and she now finds an empty residence after 8 each day but its no more a matter of concern for her husband. A telly to watch and handful neighbours are often enough to help the time pass by. She has earned respect among her closed ones in the long run and her views matter the most even for the elders. She is tired but she never shows that. She has spent 23 years of immense pressure but still holds the courage to fight another 23 years in order to keep things in order for her family. Not all woman can live and cherish the life of a woman. She did. She is the one with all the 7 colours of a rainbow, she is the one who has it all and even her name suggests the same signifying the true life of a woman.

2 years went by so fast

   
         Time and tide waits for none. Another year goes by and I just find myself to be a year older academically. Some attachments made, some broken, some taken per granted and some caught hold for a lifetime, this can be a precise summed up thought for this tiny time period and it still appears to me that it was just yesterday when I was feeling pretty bored on a lousy little afternoon. Yes, that was the 16th of July, 2012 when I stepped onto my new life changing my course from the sentimental aspects of a Kharagpur to a professionally accepted Kolkata.

        The two years witnessed a bunch of ups and downs, especially the one I just completed and has played a great part in molding me and making me what I am today. Sentiment can never be a part of a professional life and anybody ignoring this case will have to end up having a night long session of hiccups with water acting as a catalyst rather than a stopper. One can plan for a business set up but can only be accepted if it gains a profitable account  for all its shareholders and that's what I have learned by now. Unity in diversity can be only maintained if we take care of others interests in a way that they never diverge into ours.

        Life in college started with a boast of unity is strength but never showed the slightest signs of a broken future. Yet it had to be so. Even if one has 33 friends beside him, the whole scenario can be disturbed with the involvement of a foe. One might dedicate its life to help others

TO BE CONTINUED............

NEVER FELT LIKE CONTINUING AND SO BE IT THE END............

Rasbehari @ 11

A small excerpt of my diary from the mid of May, 2014 :

          I was walking through one of the most important crossroads of Kolkata alone when the thought about this article came up to my mind. The plot was as simple as a sudden street play and the feel for the consequences of the same, blew a terrible cold wind within me. It was 11 and the plot was Rasbehari Avenue which is considered to be one of the most populated areas of the metropolitan city.

         Its 11 at night and its all quite around in here! The busy outfit has certainly taken a toll with the aging day and silence has replaced the noisy crowded area. There is a group of young men standing at the stop alongwith a couple of tired officers back from work, all waiting for a bus to arrive. The humidity has taken away the stealth of each one of them and its a simple cushion that they demand for at this hour.
       
          It was then, that an incident took me by its appeal and I was forced to jot down what I saw. Along came the west wind in a yellow outfit with a perfect shape and the environment witnessed a sudden change among those who were a part of it at that instance! The group of boys were lured with the sudden arrival of a flower of 20s and what happened next was absolute bizarre. Few walked upto her just to get a better glance of the same where some showed signs of being charming and came up with traits of their own. It was awkward and a sudden arrival did change the whole scenario within minutes. It was sudden but it was such a common one in this 21st century and no matter whether the time is 12 in the afternoon or 11 at night, the male crowd always lurks for the worse.

          I witnessed donkeys turning out to be wolves within minutes and a cold shivering took me by its motion. I was worried! Worried? Yes, Worried. No, not for the girl who stood a few distances away from me but for the ones I care for. It was late for me as the responsibility of dropping off my girlfriend has become quite a schedule and it was no different today. What if my girl stood there instead of the one standing now! What if it would have been another special lady, my mom! Concerns surrounded me and the thought for the worse reminds me of a Damini who still continues to be alive in our hearts.

         I saw a couple of young guns approaching her to have a nice little chat. Pretty sure of being unfamiliar, the girl showed clear sign of ignorance and before it could get any worse, a bus came down in order to break the absolute silence of the terrifying situation. She didn't waste a moment and went aboard thus calling an end of the whole drama. But was it actually over?? The country has just recently seen an upheaval in the political scenario but has it made any difference?? Newspapers are still coming up with something new everyday and security of a female continues to be a matter of concern for the country whose citizens consider it to be their "MOTHERLAND"! Questions seem to hover around my mind and as decided before, I started walking in the midst of the darkness yet again, being lost with immense thoughts of safety and security promising to myself that,"I won't let her hand go alone in such a situation as long as there is a last breath left in me".

The letter

Ma'am,

               Dimensions have opened and scenarios altered in the last couple of months and I seem to have reached a different sphere altogether in the meantime. People do ask about my whereabouts nowadays and even then I just seem to avoid those queries with the same nature of being absent minded. I can sense the same changes inside me and also imagine the consequences that this will bring forward in my life. 

               You might be evaluating the negative effects that life can attain from the crazy four letter word of "love" and you can definitely put forward your views but I do have some words to put up infront of you. After a huge number of Yes/No duel within myself, I decided to write something in which I can express everything that I possess for you within me. 

               I know you don't wanna have a life where problems fit in but we need to accept that problems are and will be a part and parcel of our life. We can't just ignore it and all I can ask for, is your hand, so that together we can tackle away whatever barriers we face. I was never meant to tackle things alone and I won't be able to do it without you by my side. All I ask from you is you and without any hesitation I should also admit that you are the best thing that has ever happened to me after my parents. You mentioned that the first selfless person of your life once in his entire life became selfish and now the second most selfless person has reached a certain state of mind that he wants to be selfish for somebody not just once but for the entire life. 

              Nobody has a perfect life but still we can live it in the best possible manner if we stick together for each other and here is a promise, that I will! I don't ask for any commitment but this guilt hitch letter was always on the cards and I couldn't hold myself from having these words. I know it has been tough for you in the past but reality suggests that we can't change it, instead I do want to decorate the remaining part of your life in the best possible manner which is none other than the approaching future. Your smile is that I wanna have as an asset for life and you as my vault of happiness! I love you, bachchi.......................................

"If you want to cry, cry infront of me! If you want support, rest upon my shoulder! If you feel frightened, hold my hand! If you need love, try mine! And if you need me, then just close your eyes and you will find me there."

- Anonymous

Worry : The treble which troubles the silent sea

          Life often has its consequences rolling past by our nose and we seem to stand still and watch it go without moving a single muscle. We don't have enough ideas regarding a certain issue and we seem to be lost from the very topic in certain incidents. The question to act intensely comes when it rounds up to the fact that you could no longer be still and watch it go as you seem to be worried regarding something more precious than you yourself. "WORRY", a word that can traumatize an healthy living organism right from the word "GO" if not handled with care. The common sentimental behaviour in 21st century has recorded a large number of incidents regarding the same where the victim of an incident seems to be tremendously worried for several reasons related to some other person's well being rather than his or hers!

          This very reason gives birth to an issue about controlling our own selves in such situations and to measure the amount of interference required in another person's life! One can start with pebbles but cannot afford to use boulders for frightening away the realistic dreams of the person one cares for. The chances of a treble might crop up but one has to maintain the silence in the vast ocean until the ultimate need for a leap is asked for! Freedom in this century demands highly prestigious ranks in the human mind and disturbing that can often change the course of life for one. "WORRY" should never change into harassment just inorder to ask for a careful livelihood. Its the very course of life that we face in such situations and acting according to the need is what makes us closer to someone you really care for. Care is what one has to abide by but, it should never mean dependency because that causes upheaval in either lives and the treble which troubled the silence of the sea has grown in such intensity that it is beyond the control of being just "WORRIED" now!!!!

I turned my back to her

         I turned my back to her! She wanted to express but she could barely speak, she wanted to talk but she was dumb, she wanted to be just like others but she couldn't. All she could do is nothing but ask for money to manage half a meal each day.

         An old feeble lady with just a torn sari and a broken plastic container as her will, one can find her sitting on the opposite foot of the Gariahat pantaloons, waiting for a single penny to save her soul for another mighty day. With the glittering lights passing by she waits in the midst of darkness to find some solace from a single penny which is often thrown at her by a stranger for whom it was just a "chawanni". A penny which values like golds for her! She is the one, one who watches this metro city run as a train of the Japanese Shinkansen, and on the contrary, the stranger hardly bothers to care about those who die on the streets.
    
          It has been more of a routine for me to drop a penny or two on her broken plastic container and inquire about her well being to which she hardly replies with a nod, and for the rest of my journey I keep on wondering about the inequalities of our society. It continues for a quarter of an hour and eludes away with time as usual.

          

          It was another fine day today with chocolate day and valentines week adding flavours to my senses but all seemed to vanish with my footsteps approaching one of the most darkest corners of the glowing Gariahat, the place where the old lady sat. She wasn't there, and reasons started accumulating in my mind about her whereabouts. Human nature has a typical habit of pulling health concerns when someone goes missing and so the same came to me. I kept on walking for an yard or two thinking about her, just to find her sitting at a distance from where she actually does. The security guards of a marriage reception have disinfected the area which resulted into her relocation for the night. I felt sorry for her and somewhat it was more than a penny that came out from my wallet.

            She looked weaker than before. I was about to leave when she had some words for me today. She could barely speak and clearly expressed the trouble of her vocal chords. A trembling voice asked for help today, a shaky voice asking for money, a voice from a complete entropic system explaining the problems of her voice because of her malfunctioning vocal chords which demanded an immediate operation. But in reply, the one who had words each and every day had become speechless. I had no answer to her trembling voice which was more like a ghost. The wallet still carried a couple of green and yellow notes but all I did was to turn my back to her and started walking in disarray. The feeling was typical and I was sad but carried not a single reason to why I didn't even leave a green note for her existence. A handful number of events and a drastic change in behavior when concerns changed to fleeing away within a matter of seconds with not a single reason to support my actions. I meant to help but I didn't for a reason unknown.

          Now, here I am, sitting under a coloured roof with a laptop infront of me, to jot down this very uneventful event of my life with a guilt hitch feeling that I could have saved a soul for another mighty day. I did waste money on celebrating a chocolate day but couldn't dare to help the poor lady or even face her. We all mean to help but when actions are the need of the hour, we fail to deliver. And after saying all this, I do posses a simple thought to carry throughout this long night,"I turned my back to her".

Love : A word misjudged

       Terrible thing is one which has a diverse effect on us and what crops up to be really terrible when you resolve and observe that there is someone who cares about you and values you like anything. People go crazy about the word "Love" without even experiencing the real essence of it by just the utterance of a four letter word,"LOVE". Seeing love one desires to be in love, be loved, and also to make love but hardly anybody actually wants to feel it! A relationship can attain an ultimate climax of emotions and sentiments but true love can only be the true reason for a relationship in reality. 

      

       Relationship for people can vary widely in this 21st century but the essence of a relationship called friendship is hard to come across these days, especially a relationship of friendship between two opposite sex. But people who have experienced it, have for sure learned a lot. 

    

       Never before could anybody think that the value of friendship is no less than that of a relationship, never before can one realize that someone with no attachment by blood or law mean such a lot, never before until we actually experience it. But what we don't expect, often chooses our life to be their course of presentability, in a simple sense to make us feel how much important that expectation meant to us in reality. 

       You just never know, how a stranger easily enters your life doing some strange things and finally makes you a stranger to yourself with just a fact that it was LOVE! We ignore this terrible pinch that all of us carry and make a fool out of ourselves. I love a girl who offers a lot to me, who means a lot to me, who knows me and I do feel this love. Love, which people ask for through romantic relationships is gifted to me in a different form of friendship and I guess I have it all. Its love but its not like those which others have and I cannot think of loosing her even if I feel and experience the essence of love in another form in near future. Its the word which gifted me a friend and not to have another ghastly soul around me as I escaped to misjudge the most beautiful four letter word of the English vocabulary..............

The shitty madman

         I saw a madman today. Crazy people, infact crazy piece of shits with no manners, no chance for development, ugly and loathsome and yet it amazed me. His habitant was was nothing but the railway platform and those filthy tracks, his bathroom. He used one of the sprinklers(those used for cleaning trains) to wash a thrown away packet of 'pass pass' and then his legs. But the fact which really took me by sight was that he turned off the sprinklers after use!
     
         Why? I had no idea whatsoever. I mean, he could have left it on but it wasn't the case. All we see is what we feel but we repent at the end for the sins we commit and now its the hi5 culture that amazes me. Talking about saving our resources but then what???? Doing nothing but playing with them instead of conserving them. Yet they are normal and civilized beings who can turn heads with I-pads and I-phones. For them, talking and talking makes the day and that is the very thing that speaks in favour of them and we shall continue to regard them as the highest minds on earth and ignore those who die on the streets because MADMEN ARE MAD, I MEAN, CRAZY SHITS WHO HAVE NO IDEA ABOUT WHAT THEY DO ....................

Beats of drums

       
           A fine morning with a blazing sun and a cup of tea at the 12th charm of the clock, a perfect start for an off day. That has been quite a routine for most of us and we have made ourselves accustomed to it. All we need is a tiring week and then a day off for complete rest. A sudden weekday off is often welcomed with the same honors and recognition too.

          

          None of us miss out on such an opportunity and neither did I, to take a complete break from my notorious schedule. But it wasn't the 12th charm that woke me up today, instead it was the beating of drums. All I could collect at that point was that, it is the 23rd of January, the birthday of Netaji Subhash Chandra Bose. The drums kept closer and the beats started annoying me now and in complete disarray I made a move towards the roof  to get a complete view of the beats. Drummers followed by school girls and boys marched down the street under the supervision of their teachers and traffic guards. Neatly dressed and heads high with a cherishing smile on each of them, the fruits of nature were commemorating one of the bravest sons that Bengal has ever produced.  

     

          The annoyance had already disappeared and I could sense a drop of tear roll down my cheek. Professionalism have let us so much down. The best commander of a school parade wakes up at 12th charm and gets annoyed for a drum beat. The commands like "daine mur"(right turn) and "sabdhan wishram" were more or less replaced by "soye jaa soye jaa" in the last couple of years.

          Time has taken all of us with such a monstrous blow that we don't have time for sentiments. We have given up the sentiments which marks the love for our country, sentiments for helping another, sentiments for shutting up to avoid a fight, etc. and else we have emerged with emotions full of emoticons which restricts these very sentiments to break up - patch up, killing the other for going up the ladder, to have a fight to suppress the inferior and so on. We live with the media and die as their story ends. We point out the rapists, we jump upon a A.Raja, we honour AAP for being a protector and then we slay them for being an exploiter but do we ever think about what we might have done if we have been at those places where the food is served and served only for YOU! We never tend to think upon. Sentiments are the biggest weapons for exploiters and they find it within us. The unwanted truth still lies with the fact that DAMINI was not the last girl to be tortured in this very country but the number of rapes have increased after that. Raja was not the last scandal but it saw the coming up of more scams in the last financial year. Its not the action that matters anymore but the attitude that needs to be changed which is the very source of darkness of this society. This was never the dream of the person whose commemoration woke me up today. This was not for what our freedom fighters fought, to see people dying of poverty and on the other hand someone getting up at the 12th charm just to have a reason that he worked hard yesterday! 

         Just like others, another article has been written to commemorate him but we still continue to dishonor them who gave their lives for seeing us free! And just like others, this concludes with a JAI HIND where HIND still awaits for its renaissance when we will not be annoyed by the beats of drums.

         

I lost a friend in time

     

        It was the day when I first stepped in through the gates of a temple of learning which was pretty different from the last one to which I belonged. I met new people and made new friends whom I can never forget in my entire life. I met a friend with lack of maturity and full of innocence. A son of a hard working lady who lost her husband at a very young age and the only way out of her down falling situation was her hope to see her own child rising up to be a successful professional. He was a child who never knew liquor and feared smoke, a guy for whom his stories were foreseen comedy when he told them with his childish methods and always did carry us all with laughter for hours.

        The future was never to be predicted and the present never left us with the fruits of a newly entered life. Each day was meant to produce something beautiful, memorable and full of enjoyment. A group of people with 8 immatured boys and girls loitering around a metro city as newborns crawl around after several months of birth. It was the best part for all as 8 became more than 20 within a week and this terrific run continued.

         Time passed by and we slowly slipped into our ways of life and unknowingly, the cobwebs of the 21st century took us by its charm of love, liquor and loneliness and had an impact on each one of us. Some like me tried to take a different train and landed on some typical station of fun with hardship and sentiments but some landed on notorious stations of love and depression inorder to search for the devil in despair for selling their soul in return of intimacy. A life with liquor, a life with the name of enjoyment and lavishness yet full of smoke! A life where ONE HAS SOMETHING IN RETURN OF EVERYTHING!!

          I was far away from them but could hear them cry on a new moon night and repent to myself that I could have brought him with me, brought my friend whose mother wanted to see her child grow into her old age walking stick but now the future seems to be blur and smoggy to even see a single premonition. It was the consequences of some unknown decisions made by all of us, a decision which brought me to my station and took my friend to his but in course of time, "I LOST A FRIEND IN TIME"....................................

The Terrific Times

         
              At times you might just be alone and do wish to have friends and loved ones all around you but what you find is darkness. Darkness, as explained to us in our childhood was black but with age the colour seems to deviate from its origin and being a youth in 21st century the colour seems to lighten up and is definitely not black anymore.

              But with deviation in colour comes the chances of being brutal for inhuman experiences when you might just be swatted away from your happiest moments in just a second. Away from home its a terrific experience when there is no more of your mother's "pallu" to hide your frightened face away from the haunted darkness. "The Terrific Times" seems to have an adverse effect on many and a large portion of them seem to get lost from an amid reality to a typical scenario of frustration and depression.

             But some of them do cope up with the similar condition and is often viewed as a dismal sheen for there future bringing both frustration as well as courage to grow as a human by facing some inhuman circumstances. He/She never looks back then and the "The Terrific Times" have already made them matured enough to even challenge the devil for a successful future.....................................